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This is mostly Homestuck.
you've been warned.

 

askatotalstranger:

If you call yourself a straight man and you won’t suck dick, you are garbage.

Heterosexuality is defined by the Merriam-Webster dictionary as:

a : of, relating to, or characterized by a tendency to direct sexual desire toward the opposite sex

b : of, relating to, or involving sexual intercourse between individuals of opposite sex

And to expand on that it defines sex as:

1 : either of the two major forms of individuals that occur in many species and that are distinguished respectively as female or male especially on the basis of their reproductive organs and structures

2 : the sum of the structural, functional, and behavioral characteristics of organisms that are involved in reproduction marked by the union of gametes and that distinguish males and females

To conclude, “sex” is determined by reproductive organs, the definition of heterosexuality bases its definition upon “sex” stating it is the attraction or intercourse of the opposite “sex”.

therefore, no.

A heterosexual man would not have to suck a dick to be a heterosexual.

So let me tell you a thing.

There is this thing called Newtons First law aka the law of inertia.

This basically states that an object that is at rest will stay at rest and an object that is in motion will stay in motion.

Another thing you need to know is that an object is a single entity, there can be an object inside of another object which will feel the forces applied to the outer object, e.g. you’re on a bus and all of the seats are taken so you have to stand and use the rail, when the bus starts to move you feel like you’re moving backwards and when it stops it’s like you’re moving forwards.

These are due to inertia I’ll also add that the greater the mass the more total force at the same acceleration vs a lesser mass.

So basically what I’m getting at here is that people who bump in to you on the train or bus when it starts or slows isn’t necessarily their fault, sure they can be rude about it but keep in mind it wasn’t their intention.

durkin62:

movethefuckoverbro:

Found on Reddit: Man uses laptop on subway floor. The subject of the photo allegedly posted this in the comments: 
“Hey, that’s me!! Didn’t notice you’re snapping this, I would have waved in order to get a more flattering photo. My front looks less bald than my top, honest!
Some background: I’m wrapping up my PhD thesis. In parallel, I started a new job, my wife went back to school, and we have a new baby (second kid). My wife and I generally sleep 3-4 hours on a good night. Rest of the time is work, work, work, weekends included, with the exception of one free weeknight a week each of us gets in order to preserve some meager amount of sanity.
This means I could either get some work done on the subway or reduce the aforementioned amount of sleep even further. (BTW, at this specific instant I am reviewing the latest comments my adviser gave to my method section.) Usually I manage to get a sit but I got delayed at daycare this morning, hence this pitiful situation. I apologize for inconveniencing you- personally, I did not feel that the train was so packed (the aisle was quite empty). I switched to a sit at 72nd St.
Anyhow, have a good day and I hope poor sods such as myself will be your greatest sources of consternation in life. And to all of the worried parties, the subway floor is relatively clean (you discover this when your toddler throws a temper tantrum on it…). As far as I can see my pants are fine.”
 
Notice a lack of apology for his entitlement, myriad of excuses as to why his shameful behaviour is okay, and his comment that those who may have been worried the floor was dirty. Nobody’s worried about your pants, dude. 

Man sitting of the fucking floor is oppression now? Jesus turn off your fucking laptop and go do literally anything else. This is just fucking sad now. What’s next? Did he hold a door open for you? 

durkin62:

movethefuckoverbro:

Found on Reddit: Man uses laptop on subway floor. The subject of the photo allegedly posted this in the comments: 

Hey, that’s me!! Didn’t notice you’re snapping this, I would have waved in order to get a more flattering photo. My front looks less bald than my top, honest!

Some background: I’m wrapping up my PhD thesis. In parallel, I started a new job, my wife went back to school, and we have a new baby (second kid). My wife and I generally sleep 3-4 hours on a good night. Rest of the time is work, work, work, weekends included, with the exception of one free weeknight a week each of us gets in order to preserve some meager amount of sanity.

This means I could either get some work done on the subway or reduce the aforementioned amount of sleep even further. (BTW, at this specific instant I am reviewing the latest comments my adviser gave to my method section.) Usually I manage to get a sit but I got delayed at daycare this morning, hence this pitiful situation. I apologize for inconveniencing you- personally, I did not feel that the train was so packed (the aisle was quite empty). I switched to a sit at 72nd St.

Anyhow, have a good day and I hope poor sods such as myself will be your greatest sources of consternation in life. And to all of the worried parties, the subway floor is relatively clean (you discover this when your toddler throws a temper tantrum on it…). As far as I can see my pants are fine.”

 

Notice a lack of apology for his entitlement, myriad of excuses as to why his shameful behaviour is okay, and his comment that those who may have been worried the floor was dirty. Nobody’s worried about your pants, dude. 

Man sitting of the fucking floor is oppression now? Jesus turn off your fucking laptop and go do literally anything else. This is just fucking sad now. What’s next? Did he hold a door open for you? 

deucebasket:

the waiter at olive garden has been grating my cheese for 6 hours now waiting for me to say when. customers are screaming. three people have died. I will not yield.

fishingboatproceeds:

irnbilbie:

My John Green Halloween (HallowGreen) costume

Can’t tell if stranger or Me from the Past.

totallynotagentphilcoulson:


redvedev:

kurt-l-fahrenheit:

paredolia:

momanddadaism:

jesus fucking christ piglet what the fuck

no it’s ok, pooh had it coming

shit

wow what a douche

yeah no really don’t feel sorry for him he’s a butthole

This post is now 80% better.

jfc pooh bear

I still think the funniest thing about all these comics is that they’re all legit official comics

totallynotagentphilcoulson:

redvedev:

kurt-l-fahrenheit:

paredolia:

momanddadaism:

jesus fucking christ piglet what the fuck

no it’s ok, pooh had it coming

image

shit

image

wow what a douche

image

yeah no really don’t feel sorry for him he’s a butthole

This post is now 80% better.

jfc pooh bear

I still think the funniest thing about all these comics is that they’re all legit official comics